Bill Quain PhD

10 Rules to Break & 10 Rules to Make

Designing your destiny

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered.

— Aristotle

Introduction

It was one of those perfect summer days.

My wife, Jeanne, was pregnant with our second daughter, Kathleen. We were enjoying an early dinner with our older daughter, Amanda, at a table overlooking the intra-coastal waterway in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. You have to understand, I LOVE that stretch of water. In fact, I love almost ANY stretch of water, but that stretch in particular.

The sun was low, just starting to set. The heat of the day was beginning to give way to a more reasonable warmth that ever so slowly melted the ice in our glasses. Amanda was dozing off in the stroller, freeing Jeanne and me to enjoy our conversation.

I was feeling proud of myself. After all, I had just taken my family for a two-day visit to one of the great resort towns of the world! Now, we were relaxed, satisfied, and smug.

Then, it happened. My peaceful, secure, comfortable, and self-satisfied world was about to change—forever!

The sun disappeared as a huge shadow fell across our table. I looked up, and then I saw it. It wasn't a boat. It was a yacht. Like a messenger from my subconscious, it slowly cruised by my little corner of the world. It was so close that I could see every detail of the yacht, even with my poor eyesight.

It took a long time for that yacht to pass. And it peeled away my self-satisfaction as it went. As the stern of the yacht pulled even with our table, I saw a group of passengers on board, laughing and smiling. They looked like they were having so much fun that I almost laughed out loud myself. In that moment, it dawned on me.

These people were living by different rules.

Forgotten Dreams

Jeanne saw the expression on my face and held my hand. "What is it?" she asked. "What's the matter?"

"I had forgotten my dream," I said. "All these years, I have been going to school, getting my degrees, and teaching at universities. I have been working so hard on books, speaking engagements, and teaching. Yet, I am quite sure that none of the people on that boat—at least not the owner—are college professors. I had forgotten that there is a lot of money in the world, and there is absolutely no reason why WE shouldn't have more of it."

We talked late into the night. That incident on July 7, 1993, changed both of us. We made a decision that night. We decided to take a new, more realistic look at the way we lived, the goals we set, and the actions we were willing to take to get what we wanted.

My friends, that day Jeanne and I made a commitment to get our dream together. We made some hard choices deciding to do some things we didn't necessarily want to do so that we could have the things we wanted for our family. We made plans to create an income stream and a lifestyle that would enable us to realize our dreams. In short, we began to design our destiny.

Why I Wrote This Book

Jeanne and I have experienced tremendous changes in our lives since that fateful day. Because we took time to renew our dreams and set our goals, we've been able to accomplish much more with our lives. We're no longer satisfied being members of the crew, taking orders, depending on someone else to set our course and control our fate. Today, I'm proud to say, we're captains of our own ship.

That's why I wrote this book. I wanted to help you design your own destiny by pointing out the "channel markers"—or rules—that will empower you to chart your own course through life. You may have to create some new rules for yourself...and challenge some old ones!

Challenge The Rules … And Rule Your Challenges!

I learned about challenging the rules at a very early age. When I was about 14, I began to lose my eyesight to a disease called macular degeneration. Today, I am legally blind. I am unable to drive a car, read print, or see the smiles of my children if they are more than a few feet away.

Imagine wearing a pair of glasses that has a thin film of petroleum jelly on the lenses. Now, tape a piece of black paper to the middle of each lens. The only vision you have is around the edges. That's what I see.

In order to overcome the physical limitations imposed by my handicap, I have learned to challenge the rules. I could have used my handicap as an excuse to limit my achievements, but that is not my style. I decided early in life to set my own rules so I could accomplish what I wanted out of life, not what others thought I should settle for.

What about you? What challenges do YOU have? Everyone has some handicap they need to overcome. You may be shy. You may lack self-confidence. You may come from a broken home. Or, you may simply be broke. All too often, these handicaps interfere with our dreams.

Whatever the challenge, you will never get anywhere by simply ACCEPTING the rules that others impose on you. If you want to design your own destiny, you will have to challenge some old rules, and create new ones.

More About This Book

I've divided the rules you'll be reading about into two categories—10 Rules to Break and 10 Rules to Make. Let's take a brief look at what you'll learn in each category:

10 Rules to Break
In the first half of this book, I'm encouraging you to break 10 commonly held rules that all of us have heard, or said, all of  our lives. These old clichés or rules may have been useful and valid in the past, but they don't hold up anymore. In fact, the 10 Rules to Break hold us back.

For example, 500 years ago Columbus was wise enough to challenge the commonly held rule that the world was flat. Because he had the courage to challenge that rule, Columbus changed the course of the entire world. Likewise, in order for us to change our own course and design our own destiny, we MUST break these 10 rules, starting right now!

10 Rules to Make
The 10 Rules to Make, on the other hand, are timeless! They will never go out of fashion. Like the Ten Commandments in the Bible, 10 Rules to Make are immutable, universal laws.

These rules hold true across all cultures and for all time. Everyone must follow these rules or risk failure, just as a captain who ignores channel markers and lighthouse signals risks running his ship onto rocky shores.

Setting Sail
Designing your destiny will not be easy. You'll need to make some sacrifices. You'll need discipline. And yes, you'll need courage.

But once you set sail and you're charting your own course, you'll know firsthand the feeling of FREEDOM!

The freedom to make your own way in the world.

The freedom to captain your own ship.

Most of all, the freedom to seek a life of abundance, instead of settling for a life of compromise.

So as you read this book, examine the rules you are currently living your life by. Then carefully choose the rules that will empower you to design your destiny